The Risk

Would you go into a burn­ing build­ing to save your­self? You would do it for oth­ers, but would you do it for your­self? Do not answer too quickly. If you take a close look at your life his­tory, you will find that you are more tol­er­ant of oth­ers than you are of your­self — and more sac­ri­fi­cial toward them too. That looks pretty noble on the sur­face, but it is not very noble once you stand back and look at it. Self-hate is too widely accepted. In fact, some wear it as a badge of some sort of masochis­tic self-debasing spirituality.

Early cen­tury cults taught their fol­low­ers to hurt them­selves. Some reli­gions still prac­tice that style today. The Apos­tle Paul spoke against it in an often ignored lit­tle let­ter — the let­ter to the Colos­sians. Being severe to your­self looks like you are being hum­ble, but you are not. That form of self-hate stems from an unre­solved rejec­tion of your very self. Who taught you to beat up on your­self? Why do you put your­self down?

One rea­son we cut oth­ers more slack is that we know so much more about our­selves — or at least we think we do. Deep down inside, we think we deserve our suf­fer­ing. No one knows the sin­ner like the sin­ner. That is where we make the grand self-mistake. Oth­ers look a bit bet­ter off, due to our self-loathing. “Lov­ing God, neigh­bor, and SELF” is the for­mula that is most work­able. Jesus knew what he was talk­ing about in that one. The bedrock of true love for God and your neigh­bor is your hon­est love for yourself.

That may drag up all sorts of nar­cis­sis­tic images, but that is not what the idea is designed to por­tray. YOU are worth it. You are worth the risks that it takes to be happy. Bernard of Clair­vaux was right: Sooner or later you have to come to grips with the idea that you are to love your­self for God’s sake. The rela­tion­ship between you and God has to do as much or more with how you relate to your­self as how you relate to oth­ers. Take the risk of self-love. You are worth it!