Parking Lot

This is an inter­est­ing town. It is also very enter­tain­ing. Some­times you have to look close to find the amuse­ment, intrigue, and humor, but it is all there. For me, I find it by watch­ing the church park­ing lot on the cor­ner of Smith and Church Streets. Since it is adja­cent to the par­son­age, I have walk near it, drive through it, and even use it once in a while for over­flow park­ing when I am host­ing an event.

Here are some amaz­ing things I have noticed: First of all, it is the per­fect place for the police to hide. A fair num­ber of tick­ets are writ­ten from this spot. Since there is a stop­light on that same cor­ner and enough peo­ple in a hurry, it is a like going hunt­ing at the zoo or shoot­ing fish in a bar­rel. The results are almost instan­ta­neous. The last hun­dred yards to the stop­light are a blind drive from all direc­tions. Per­fect hunt­ing conditions!

Sec­ond, it is the ren­dezvous point of choice for drug deals, affairs, and quick vis­its (you don’t even have to use binoc­u­lars to notice). Mys­te­ri­ous cars appear at some of the strangest hours, but they are often there right in broad day­light too. Some­times a lone car sits there empty for about twenty-four hours. No, I do not get license tag num­bers, nor do I fol­low any­one into or out of the lot.

Third, it is appar­ently the best place in the world to park on a sum­mer day for lunch or a nap (Post Office vehi­cle for lunch - oth­ers for a nap). The shade on the south side is gen­tle and con­stant. I am tempted to drive forty feet from my dri­ve­way and try it out myself. Those dos­ing folks sure look relaxed. Please do not honk — lest you star­tle them.

Fourth, it is a catch-all for skate­board­ers, Ray­mond Pounds’ trucks, lost vis­i­tors look­ing at maps, and peo­ple sit­ting red-faced while they receive tick­ets. Some­times the car or cars are parked mafia hit-man style, but that may just be my imag­i­na­tion (I hope anyway).

In a few years, we are going to resur­face the old lot. I am sub­mit­ting a sketch des­ig­nat­ing abbre­vi­a­tions on selected spots that I hope users will fol­low: NP (nap­pers); LN (lunch­ers); DD (drug deals); AA (anony­mous affairs); RP (Ray­mond Pounds); FSTB (friends shoot­ing the breeze); TR (ticket recip­i­ents); MHM (mafia hit men); POLICE (the angled space that allows quick exits on either street).

Bored? Drop by and we will watch the lot together. Who says there is noth­ing to do in a small town?