Kind Moment

Most of us drive our­selves mer­ci­lessly. We are crit­i­cal of our­selves and thus crit­i­cal of oth­ers. “Per­for­mance” is the hall­mark of our times. Only an A+ is accept­able. We praise the Gold but ignore the Sil­ver and Bronze. Flaw­less per­fec­tion has become an unrea­son­able god. No one really attains it, so deep down inside we crawl off in toxic shame.

Sel­dom do we take a kind moment for our­selves. We are a dri­ven peo­ple. At first it feels good, and then we exhaust and give up. The church is for sin­ners — fail­ures — hyp­ocrites that have learned the heav­enly bless­ing of accept­ing grace for all of our flaws. By it we hold our heads up and con­tinue on. We do not self-destruct over impos­si­ble stan­dards. “The meek inherit the earth” because they can live with a B or a C — or even in tak­ing the course all over again.

It is good to have high and wor­thy goals, but if you pun­ish your­self for imper­fec­tion you are in for a lot of unnec­es­sary pain. The gap between aspi­ra­tion and accom­plish­ment exists as part of inspi­ra­tion and desire. Long­ing is good for the soul. The quest for per­fec­tion helps us reach beyond the merely accept­able. It is not designed to be a humil­i­at­ing sign of failure.

Pick your­self up. Be good to your­self. All fac­tors con­sid­ered, you are prob­a­bly doing the best you can. Win­ning means not being your own worst critic. It means being your own best fan.