Inside/Outside

Most peo­ple do not com­pre­hend the tread­mill of outer expec­ta­tions. They fall for the illu­sion that exter­nal things can be com­pletely man­aged or con­trolled. In truth, those things can only be invited to change. No human has the capac­ity to force exter­nal cir­cum­stances. We lack the power. We lack the abil­ity to know exactly what should be at any given moment. We live in a uni­verse of con­stant change. Still, I watch peo­ple headed toward inevitable dis­ap­point­ments of their own mak­ing. I know how it feels to be in those illu­sions. On occa­sion, I fall into them myself.

The illu­sion is that if I do this, then that will hap­pen. At first it works, then we extend it. After a while we get a power rush. The ego steps in. Grandios­ity takes over. The illu­sion, like an over-filled bal­loon, is the most beau­ti­ful right before it pops. Will­ful­ness has run its course. Dis­il­lu­sion­ment begins its per­va­sive sting. Cyn­i­cism is the next, and for some, the final step.

Spir­i­tu­al­ity is about learn­ing the illu­sive nature of not ques­tion­ing our own per­cep­tions. There is noth­ing wrong with chang­ing the world. Exter­nal goals are attain­able. Work can be truly sat­is­fy­ing. A bet­ter world really is pos­si­ble. The trick to all of this is where you begin, where you stay, and where you end. The “where” is inside. It has to do with things like mon­i­tor­ing your motives. It also has to do with ques­tion­ing the cor­re­spon­dence between those things out­side of us and the valid­ity of our inter­nal comprehensions.

Some­where along the way, you learn to watch the polit­i­cal and eco­nomic cycles come and go with­out ela­tion or dread. All things pass. You can choose to enjoy the ride no mat­ter what. There are lessons to be learned on both sides of the curve. There are also hid­den joys, but they are not the result of the ever-changing cycles. The joys are ulti­mately from within. They are there wait­ing to be dis­cov­ered. Not out­side. Inside.