Ice Cream Meditations

There is some­thing about ice cream that calms the nerves, stead­ies the hand, and soothes the soul. If you do not have the money or time for a ther­a­pist, I rec­om­mend mint choco­late chip ice cream. It is inex­pen­sive, easy to obtain, and as close as your refrig­er­a­tor. Per­son­ally, I eat it with a fork right out of the car­ton. The rea­son I do not use a spoon is that if it is hard-frozen, I can still dig into it for instant grat­i­fi­ca­tion (in com­plete des­per­a­tion I even use a butcher’s knife). Also, the sharp tines of a fork allow me to pry out the choco­late chips — almost sur­gi­cally — for times when I am crav­ing con­so­la­tion or in really deep thought.

Per­haps it is my his­tory with ice cream or that it is just one of those ideal com­fort foods, but what­ever the case it is the fastest way to a hyp­notic trance that I have ever dis­cov­ered. By the sec­ond bite — Nir­vana! I can think through all dilem­mas; all threat of harm dis­ap­pears; my future is bright; I am one with the uni­verse. When I put the car­ton back in the freezer I am tempted to say, “Amen!”

Sim­ple things work so well on the com­plex­i­ties of the mind/body/soul rela­tion­ship. Breathe deep. Go for a walk. Watch a sun­set. EAT SOME ICE CREAM! It does not take a lot. I like tak­ing very small bites and carv­ing lit­tle curlicues in the magic mix­ture. The process has the same effect of tak­ing me to some high moun­tain to pon­der the issues of life or to meet with the gods of ancient lore. From a Chris­t­ian per­spec­tive, I call it “sim­ply heavenly.”

It takes about a half gal­lon per week to keep my per­spec­tive. For about one-hundred-and-fifty dol­lars per year I can stay sane. That is a bar­gain — espe­cially con­sid­er­ing the stresses of cur­rent liv­ing and the life call­ing I ful­fill. What­ever the topic, a trip into ice cream land will find res­o­lu­tion for it. War, eco­nomic chaos, polit­i­cal bat­tles, and pro­fes­sional or per­sonal prob­lems — all melt away. To keep this from becom­ing a weight prob­lem, I imbibe in lieu of meals. Who needs nutri­tion when you can have total spir­i­tual bliss?

Door to heaven — in the frozen food section…