Get It Off The Line

Every so often, we all make one com­mon mis­take: We put our self-esteem on the line. We pit it against some­thing we can­not con­trol, and then we live in fear of the out­come. Self-esteem dimin­ishes. We put it back on the line (like an out of con­trol gam­bler), and we repeat the process until it is all gone. It may take from hours to years to fig­ure out what we have done. Once the insight arises, we cor­rect the fun­da­men­tal mis­take toward our­selves and self-esteem returns. The time in between is pretty mis­er­able.

The key to self-esteem is to base it on noth­ing you (or any­one else) can con­trol. If you have to earn it through accom­plish­ments, you will exhaust your­self. If you are wait­ing for it to come from oth­ers, you will have a ner­vous break­down from being a people-pleaser. If it is based on your looks, your bank account, where you live, your genetic makeup, or any­thing that does not stem from a Divine per­spec­tive, you are set­ting your­self up for some real dis­ap­point­ment. Self-esteem really has noth­ing to do with the self. It has to do with the belief that you are made in the image of God — that you are of eter­nal worth — just like you are right now.

It is easy to lose that per­spec­tive. The world around us beats us up with images and impos­si­ble sce­nar­ios. We never quite get to the car­rot on the stick. We merely die try­ing. This is not to say that we should not aspire to spir­i­tual great­ness, but that goals reached on our own are illu­sive and at best rel­a­tively short-lived. We are more than these. Though we accom­plish, we are greater than our most noble suc­cesses. We are also far above our deep­est fail­ures. Our essence is not deter­mined by either.

Self-esteem comes from accep­tance not accom­plish­ment. At what­ever point you reject your­self, you are hung. Accep­tance is not easy. It takes a lot of spir­i­tual work and an imag­i­na­tion that takes you far beyond your­self and the shal­low lit­tle cul­ture of your con­tem­po­rary life. The stars are mere atomic reac­tions. We are much greater and are con­nected to an undy­ing Source. For now, we study the galax­ies, know­ing we will some­how be around long after they are gone. There is no sense attach­ing myself to some lit­tle pass­ing phe­nom­e­non — like great­ness or fame. I think I will pull myself back from the line. Ulti­mately, there is noth­ing I have to prove to any­one — even myself. This is all about God — not me.