Changing the Way You Feel

Self-help book sales are pretty reces­sion resis­tant. We are for­ever look­ing for the magic for­mu­las to fix our­selves. The insights from the paper­back advice sys­tem can be pretty help­ful, but when you fin­ish a book you real­ize that the sys­tem endorsed by an author is more about the author than the procla­ma­tion of any uni­ver­sal prin­ci­ple. In short, what works for oth­ers may not work for you. After rec­om­mend­ing the book to oth­ers, you put it on the shelf, and there it sits to gather dust.
After a while, you go back to the way you feel. Your old self has returned. You even­tu­ally return to the book­store to see if there is a newer work that will be more effec­tive or last longer. The hunt con­tin­ues. It is the quest to escape what­ever keeps you feel­ing the way you feel. Maybe a movie or a trip will help. Why do I wake up to dis­cover that I am still me?
Numer­ous very tech­ni­cal vol­umes have been writ­ten on human con­scious­ness. What is the phe­nom­e­non that gives each of us a unique set of feel­ings? How does an ever-changing body still main­tain a sense of men­tal con­ti­nu­ity? You would think that we could find a way to erase the slate and start again, but we can’t. There is a resid­ual effect to all that we think and do.
I have a few tricks that I use to find other and bet­ter feel­ings. One is motive. When I choose a kind motive, I feel kind. If I choose love, I feel lov­ing. Maybe you are stuck in lesser motives? Going through life moti­vated by noth­ing more noble than pay­ing the bills can leave you feel­ing numb. Fram­ing the day as a series of nec­es­sary tasks can leave you feel­ing exhausted. See it as an adven­ture instead. Feel­ings need a cue.
Here are a few other things that work for me: remem­ber what it was like to be a child; look at the sky with a sense of awe; get a pet; take a break; change your rou­tine; slow down; stop think­ing; affirm rather than cri­tique; accept the whole “big show” of life like a gift. Add in some casual prayer. Before you know it, the cob­webs and rust of neglected emo­tions begin to dis­ap­pear. Then again, maybe you do not need to change. Per­haps con­tent­ment is right where you are and where you need to be.