Because Of Or Through?

The human ego will take credit for any­thing it thinks will make it look bet­ter and deny any­thing that might cast a shadow on it. It over-estimates its power and impor­tance. Most of all, it takes credit for things that it does not know that it is not actu­ally doing. The debate that has raged in my soul lately has been one that totally calls my ego into ques­tion: What things hap­pen because of me and what things hap­pen in spite of me? Put another way: Could it be that God and the uni­verse work more through me than because of me?

I hes­i­tate want­ing to know the answer to that. It could be that it is a ninety-ten split in favor of my just being the pas­sive observer. Gifts are given not cre­ated. We receive them, and then it is up to us to use or bury them. Therein lies the real respon­si­bil­ity. Do I use prop­erly what I have been given? Another haunt­ing ques­tion is: Where did I get the idea that any of this is about me?

I would like to extend this prin­ci­ple on a grand scale: To what level are coun­tries and eras the result of human efforts alone? Are we not merely the expres­sion of some­thing greater? A national ego works like that of any indi­vid­ual. We imag­ine that we have defined our­selves and resist any­thing that is not the result of our own efforts.

As my inner sage pro­gres­sively comes to life, I see my life more as an avenue than the vehi­cle. The story is about God. We are just the sup­port­ing cast — maybe even lit­tle more than props. Our “orig­i­nal” lines may not have been orig­i­nated solely by us at all. The over­all script is greater than our lit­tle part. The drama is more inter­est­ing when I focus on the lead player and not my lit­tle lines. It is actu­ally quite a big show span­ning eons of time and involv­ing the entire universe.

There is great con­so­la­tion in real­iz­ing it is through rather than because. There is more to see when I get out of the way.