A Humorous Look At Church Names

I was cruis­ing around the Inter­net the other day and dis­cov­ered an athe­is­tic “church” named “The Church of Reality” — and I was a bit taken back. At first I thought it was a joke, but after a two year strug­gle with the IRS, they were given church sta­tus. I am not sure how their church ser­vices go. I am not sure if they swear to God that they are athe­ists or just what all they do for an hour. I do find it inter­est­ing what they call their church, and I won­der what they will call it after this life is over…but I digress.
What if churches were named for what they really are? “The Church of Golf” surely meets at Hilton Head or Augusta. “The Church of Yacht” must be among the crowded crafts in the Savan­nah and Charleston har­bors. “The Church of Fish­ing and Hunt­ing” is pop­u­lar in the South. I once served a con­gre­ga­tion that should have been named, “The Church of Gos­sip and Scan­dal” or “The Church of Anti-Clericalism.” I once served “The Church of Be Sure We Are Out Of Here By Twelve” also known as “The Church of the Growl­ing Stom­achs.”
“The Church of Middle-Class Con­ve­nience” has a drive-through offer­ing sys­tem and recorded radio and Inter­net prayers for peo­ple on the go. You usu­ally see a lot vans and SUV’s pulling through (you don’t even have to turn off the engine). My hat is off to “The Church of the Poor” — that often meets in store-front facil­i­ties and in homes (I can see Jesus being very at home there). I hon­estly think he would also be at home where I min­is­ter. The build­ing is rus­tic but cared for, and what would lure him inside would have to be the joy and laugh­ter. The sign about “Love Spo­ken Here” would catch his eye. He would prob­a­bly peek inside to see if it is prac­ticed too. “The Church of Fash­ion Show” is worth a look. Every town has sev­eral. “The Church of Pay­ing Our Dues” is usu­ally small and has all the excite­ment of vis­it­ing a county tax office. “The Church of Rock Music” looks like it has some new singers today. Man what a tour bus!
I have a lot of con­fi­dence in the Spirit of Jesus. I think he can make his way into any church — includ­ing the ones that would try to keep him out. An hon­est athe­ist can some­times have just what it takes for hon­est belief too. Jesus would man­age some­how to get close to that per­son. I am not sure how accu­rately our churches are named, but it takes a lot more than a wooden door to keep God in or out.